The Bird Bath

Today, I've felt a bit down.  Doing things that are self-destructive, that you KNOW will be self-destructive before you do them, is a bad idea... I don't recommend it... But having been self-destructive this morning, I've had to reap the consequences all day, in the form of a nasty case of the blues and too many thoughts full of self-doubt to count.

I did "nice" things for myself today... got a manicure (first one in I can't remember how long, and just went with clear!), and a pedicure as well (pink for springtime), took care of Burr's laundry, even got to watch a bit of "Casino Royale" while I munched on my lunch.  Then I went to the pool.  Glorious afternoon in Yuma.  Hot.  Sunny.  Perfect.  Started a new book ("The School of Essential Ingredients" - highly recommend!), and tried to breathe deeply and enjoy the sunshine.  But I still felt down.

Until I saw the bird.  It was a pigeon, and it was perched on the edge of the fountain by the pool.  There was nothing especially remarkable about the bird.  Brown, no distinctive markings, regular size, you know, just a bird.  But that bird was Joyful!  It was luxuriating in the cool splashes of water being blown onto it from the fountain.  One wing would lift as the bird tilted to the side to get the water in those "hard to reach spots!" then the maneuver would be repeated on the other side.  The bird Luxuriated in the water... and I became lighter, and more joyful just watching.

Watching the bird playing in the fountain reminded me of how much I've always loved the water and experienced great joy just from being in it and pretending to be Esther Williams...  But I held off on my impulse to dive into the pool.  I mean, then I would have to wash my hair, my eye make-up would get runny, etc, etc.  My eyes, however, continued to be drawn back to the bird, as he bathed and played in the fountain.  It looked like FUN.  And that bird seemed Happy!  And at the end of the day, I wanted to feel happy, not blue, and I knew that all it would take to feel happier would be to dive into the water, and frolic for a bit.  So, I did.  And it was wonderful.  And I felt happy.

Now I'm left to ponder...  Why do we (or maybe it's just me), so easily do things to ourselves that we know will bring us down and not lift our spirits.  And why is it so much more difficult to choose to do something simple that we know will bring joy to our souls?  It's so easy to choose to squander in negativity, and can sometimes be much more of a challenge to embrace the healthy and positive... even though, from my experience, it's actually more Difficult to do something self-destructive (too many steps, too  much yuck to wade through) than it is to choose the Positive.  Craziness I tell you.

I will continue to look for the beauty and joy in the simplicity around me... and make the decision as often as possible to do the things that I know will bring joy to my own life.

Here's to the bird bath.

rmf